Deerfield Security Unearths Jordanian Petrodollars

DS LOUNGE - Several Tons of Petrodollars were found concealed under the carpet of the Lobby of the Memorial Building. The dean's office is convinced that the money is indeed Petrodollars and not normal everyday dollars.
"At the last round Square conference, several Kenyan delegates snuck in with me into the "Mem" and we buried 4 tons of Petrodollars under the Carpet," Admitted Chris Wong '10 after being tied to a chair and tortured for several hours.
The "Mem" is used by the Academy for its most mediocre dances that involve "Dang skeet skeet" and the evermore hippie Albany road coffee-houses.
Except for being the sketchiest place on campus, it is used daily and was in no way suspected of holding so much money.
As soon as the news was spread, Student Council members promptly ordered the area cordoned off from the campus. Several minutes later the Rainbow Six, Navy Seals and Halo dudes surrounded the area and secured the Petrodollars.
Four Jordanian Chinook Helicopters landed on the quad where Oliver Lee '10 was taking a well deserved nap.
" They came out of nowhere, I was sleeping and then I see this big bearded guy on a parachute, then I passed out…" Said Lee after he woke up.
The Petrodollars were loaded with caution as they are a valuable resource for middle-eastern countries. Last year alone, Jordan made 3 trillion dollars off the sale of Petrodollars.